This workshop is designed for you and a friend to help each other feel better through basic easy massage and stretching techniques. Gentle connected touch and massage relieves stress, improves well-being, enhances recovery from discomfort or injury, and helps the body reset to a more comfortable level. A partner can help us achieve deeper flexibility, lending body weight and support while we relax and breathe into a stretch.

You’ll need: A partner, a soft mat (I use 2 stacked yoga mats), a warm quiet room, and a couple of large pillows for support - more pillows are always better, tennis balls for solo work.

Why stretch and massage?

We spend most of our lives contracting our muscles to perform our daily activities. We hunch over computers, steering wheels and devices, we withstand daily barrages of bad news and work stress that elevate our shoulders, and then our body habituates to these contracted positions. Stretching ourselves back out to our full length, and receiving gentle touch decreases wear and tear on our muscles, tendons and joints, reduces blood levels of cortisol and adrenaline, and increases our healthspan. We need healthy and caring touch to thrive. These techniques lower blood pressure, stress response, chronic pain, risk for arthritis/other musculoskeletal injuries, and improve flexibility, sleep, blood flow and mood.

When is best to stretch?

All the time. Seriously - whenever you think of it. To increase flexibility, it’s usually best to stretch muscles when they are a bit warmed up and have some increased blood flow, perhaps after some activity. Think of uncooked vs cooked spaghetti. Stretching cold muscles is less effective, and not all stretches are appropriate for everyone. If you are healing from an injury, ask your doctor or physical therapist for what is best and what to avoid. A few tips to get started:

  • The receiver is in the driver’s seat. They provide the feedback as to depth and pressure needed. “Green” (go ahead), “yellow” (close to edge) and “red” (stop) are helpful cues. Stretches may be uncomfortable, but shouldn’t be painful. Pain activates a stretch reflex, involuntarily contracting the muscles, negating the positive effects of the stretch.

  • Start with a conversation about how the receiver is feeling and their goals; athletic flexibility? Relaxation? Relief of discomfort? Simple connection after a difficult day? Are there any injuries to be aware of; sunburn? Sensitive scars? Tickles?

  • Giver of massage/stretch must take care of themselves too using good body mechanics and alignment.

  • Avoid rashes, breaks in the skin, bruises, cold/flu, healing bones, varicosities, anything you don’t understand. Massage somewhere else.

  • Hold a stretch for at least 30 - 60 seconds (more is great!) and focus on breathing as you slowly deepen the stretch or pressure. Focus on lengthening the exhale to help the body calm down. It takes a while for the muscle to realize you are not giving up and it may as well let go. No bouncing. Relax.

  • Giver: be gentle (but not wishy washy) and sensitive, listen to your partner and you can’t go wrong. No assumptions - what you like may not work for them. Think of how the body works, and go with that flow. Try to enhance what should be happening (like sanding with the grain).

  • Massage muscle tissue and tendinous attachments only. Don’t massage over bone - that’s painful. Start light and increase pressure as requested. Lotion or oils are fine if desired, but check with receiver for preferences and allergies.

  • Don’t expect miracles. Stretching and massage are long-term commitments and have cumulative effects - patience. Also, as we age, our tissues become less stretchy and malleable, so have realistic expectations. Stay committed and hydrated!

Some techniques:

Superficial stroke: covers a lot of surface area, not deep, warms area up

Range of Motion: discovers how far a joint can move comfortably

Kneading/Squeezing: moves fluids in and out of tissue, good for big muscles

Point pressure: for knots - can be uncomfortable if not careful - start light and deepen slowly, aim for the “hurts so good” reaction from receiver.

Cross fiber friction: Breaks up adhesions - can be uncomfortable if not careful (see above)

Jiggling: helps to relax a muscle unconsciously holding tension.

Some definitions:

Massage: Rubbing kneading and stretching of soft tissue (muscle, tendon, ligament, fascia) of the body to relieve tension or pain, prevent injury, improve circulation, flexibility and relaxation.

Agonist/Antagonist: Muscles work in pairs or groups to create opposing forces and movements (for example, biceps flex the elbow, and triceps extends it).

Tendons: Attach muscles to bone, origins are closer to head, insertions usually further away (there are exceptions, because, biology).

Ligaments: Attach bones to bones, generally quite inflexible and meant to stay that way.

Supine: Lying on your back (spine).

Prone: Lying on your front.

Lower body possibilites

1) Neck and leg traction

  • Receiver is in supine position, gently cup your partner’s occiput in your palms and lean backwards so that their cervical (neck) spine lengthens. Hold for 30 - 60 seconds. Then move to their feet and hold their ankles in a loose grip. Lean back to gently traction their lower back by pulling on their legs.

  • [solo version: feet up a wall]

2) Foot and ankle

  • Receiver supine, and comfortable with pillow under knees. Giver sits near foot. Rotate ankle, flex and extend toes, manipulate metatarsals, gentle but firm pressure of sole of foot, knuckle rotation to pad of heel.

  • [solo version: standing or seated - tennis ball under foot]

3) Calf and hamstring

  • Passive stretch: Receiver supine with one leg extended on floor, the other up toward ceiling. Giver stabilizes floor leg by pressing on quad, while pressing other extended leg toward receiver’s torso. Can be done with giver standing and bracing leg against body.

  • Receiver is supine with one leg extended, Giver holds other ankle, and performs thai yoga pressure with foot against hamstring.

  • Receiver is supine with one leg bent, foot on floor. Giver stabilizes foot (sit on it), then wrap hand around receivers calf, fingers touching behind the leg. Gently pry muscles apart and lean back. repeat all the way down to achilles tendon.

  • [solo version: seated, tennis ball under calf or hamstring]

4) Glutes/hamstrings

  • Receiver is prone (pillows under ankles and chest) apply pressure up to full body weight on glutes and hamstrings and rear IT bands, fist or knee pressure to piriformis while rotating leg.

  • [solo version - lie supine with tennis ball under glute and hamstring}

5) Passing stretch back and forth between partners

  • Butterfly sit facing each other - grasp forearms and alternate lean forward and back

  • Buttery fly sit, receiver leans forward, giver assists femur external rotation and hip flexion/forward bend with their body weight

  • Wide leg V-sit facing each other - grasp forearms and alternate lean forward and back

  • Wide leg V-sit - receiver leans forward, giver goes spine-to and lifts hips up to provide assist with their body weight, or or front -to and leans onto receiver

  • Wide leg V-sit - receiver reaches arm up, giver stabilizes femur near hip joint and assists a lateral stretch over

  • Receiver sits with straight legs out front and together, giver leans onto receivers back, starting at low back

  • Receiver in child pose (may need knee bolsters), giver applies massage starting at low back, traveling up either side of spine

Here are a few upper body techniques to try:

Chest opening/lumbar twist

  • Receiver is supine, giver gently kneads pectoral muscles below clavicles.

  • Put a rolled up yoga mat under the spine and repeat. Remove mat roll and stabilize shoulders while receiver twists lower body, knees to one side, then the other.

  • Receiver is seated, giver hugs from the back to pull shoulders back, Thai yoga arm pull back with knees bracing between scapulae and spine.

  • [solo version: lie back with yoga mat roll under spine. remove roll, hold weights in hands while performing lower body twist, standing: palm against door frame or wall]

    3) Shoulders and Neck

    • Receiver is seated, giver applies elbow pressure to tops of shoulder, trapezius, deltoids, neck and sides of cervical spine

    • [solo - tennis ball against door frame]

Hands and forearms

  • carpals, metacarpals and digit movement and stretching. pressure on flexors and extensors

  • [solo version - body weight on tennis ball for forearm and tendinitis application]

Jaw and head/scalp

Receiver’s head is giver’s lap, or on a pillow. Gentle scalp circles - sink deeper than hair level. forehead outward stroke, eyebrow pinch, temple circles and jaw massage in front of ears. Careful pressure just behind ears.